


remembrance

by 1nterlaced



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:36:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1nterlaced/pseuds/1nterlaced
Summary: blue pearl remembers yellow diamond's first pearl.





	remembrance

**Author's Note:**

> "My love is far away, and so that she remain beautiful, I occasionally bathe her memory with my tears;"
> 
> \- Miklós Radnóti, from All That Still Matters At All: Poems; “Days of Piety,”

blue pearl remembers what it was like before the Loss. it's part of the reason she wasn't shattered- pink pearl had damned them when she defected, leaving white and yellow to the wraths of their Diamonds; her Diamond had kept her. (a small comfort.) she wonders if she should be grateful before she realizes - that may be another damnation in itself. if she had not shattered her then, blue thought, she might not ever. eternity with her Diamond- the ideal pearl's wish. 

blue is not so ideal, it seems. 

 

not ridding Herself of blue isn't because of any mercy in her Diamond, mind you- Blue Diamond kept her because she was the only servant left that remembered what Pink looked like. the only one that had been allowed close enough to catch the wrinkle in her nose when she laughed, or the 'lovely way' she would talk when she was particularly pleased. it was her only use, besides looking pretty and the occasional song and dance- she sat in front of her Diamond, day after day, recounting through her holograms whatever She pleased. 

"pearl." 

"Yes, my Diamond?" she salutes, quick and clean. practiced. 

"show me Pink at the luna colonies in sector c." 

 and she does, letting her Diamond's powers wash over her and manifest themselves in quiet, foreign tears as she watched the fallen Diamond live on in their memories. 

 

 ...

 

 

she remembers Pink Diamond. she remembers Pink, and her pearl, pink, and Yellow and - yellow. she saw pink most often, due to the closeness of their Diamonds- but she remembers yellow pearl best of all. she'd been Yellow's first pearl, just as blue had been her Diamond's first pearl.

they'd emerged together, a gift from White Diamond. clinging, long limbs knocking together, watching the nacre that had created them quickly take in their appearances. she'd seemed pleased, yet she urged them to reform in the outfits she projected- they did so immediately, of course, and reformed a week later with the pretty lace and stockings that had been requested of them. 

they saw each other often, after that. their Diamonds were close, particularly so at the beginning of their assimilation into the Diamond Authority.

yellow pearl was ... rambunctious. a high energy pearl, to keep up with her diamond. ( if it was her place, she might say that Yellow Diamond had been the same way back then- less jaded. nicer, even. but that was back then, and it wasn't her place. )

yellow would lead most of their conversations, animatedly talking her through even the most complicated of yellow's plans.

" she's finalizing blueprints for ships that travel fast - faster than light! - and the resources my diamond needs are right on the colonies in the omega cluster! '

"ooh, my diamond was so upset the other day- a harvesting issue in the second sector of white diamond's colonies, y'know- all of the Authority was ther- weren't you there, too? "

a pause. blue pearl smiles lightly at her sudden realization. 

" .. wait, did we already talk about this? "

 

she was silly, and blue's replies rarely went past what needed to be said- out of habit. yellow didn't seem to be all that bothered by her silence- she was more than happy to fill it herself. quietly, blue would wonder what may have come of yellow if she had been another gem. a quartz, maybe. her loud personality and affinity for touch would've brought the kindness out of even the most reserved jaspers.

in turn, blue tries to imagine herself as a quartz- quiet, subservient, unable to fight- and smiles at the ridiculousness of the thought. (its ridiculous, but she can't imagine herself without yellow.)

 

 ...

 

they gather at the moon base in the crystal system, hovering quietly over Pink Diamond's first colony. their Diamonds enter the meeting room, leaving them behind. it is just White, Yellow, and Blue- Pink is late, but it's not the first time. they stand outside, whispering nervously- there have been issues with the rebellion on 'Earth', and they worry for pink pearl, dear sweet pink, who had been nothing short of family to them. yellow is tearing up, even though she says its only dust that's gotten in her eye, and white comforts her while gnawing at her own lip thoughtfully. 

they hear several crashes from the other side of the door, surprising them into diamond salute, and for the first time in years, a wave of blue envelops them all, suffocating them with a pain that can only mean one thing- 

yellow cries out. ' oh, pink- where's pink?- '

white nearly buckles under the pressure of blue diamond's grief, and blue has to hold her up to stop her from falling.

 

pink pearl doesn't come back.

 

 ..

 

their diamonds meet together one more time after that. her Diamond begins to request the holograms from her, and never fails to burst into tears, painting even the reflection of Pink's face blue in her mourning. yellow pearl says that her diamond has begun to request more of her as well- to answer calls, keep records- they're still in mourning, too, but blue smiles, for her sake. ( yellow doesn't mention that she struggles with the technology, or that she feels pressured beyond belief. Yellow Diamond was never known for her patience, but ever since the Loss she has shattered countless gems in her anger. )

 white is quieter than usual; she knows what the meeting is about. the renegade- pink, without a doubt. she's heard the whispers amongst White Diamond's court, and has seen holograms from pearl to pearl that are unmistakable. briefly, she considers appealing to a higher power, but the highest powers she knows are behind the door. 

after the meeting, countless pearls are shattered, rose quartz gems are quarantined and bubbled, and though They do not say anything, their Diamonds will not allow them into private meetings for quite some time. 

 

..

 

Blue throws herself into despair- she refuses to answer the other Diamond's calls, and blue doesn't see yellow for nearly a year. when they do meet, it is tense, quiet, as Yellow attempts to coax Blue out of her chambers. She requests a song from them- to raise their Diamond's spirits, she claims. 

they sing, as per her request, but it is rushed and fearful- yellow shakes, and blue nearly misses a beat. Blue is not moved. they will be back in a few rotations' time- she saw yellow pearl schedule the visit as she left Blue's chambers. she is still shaking. 

 

Yellow Diamond returns, but yellow pearl does not.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this when hurricane irma hit! it was hidden in a little journal i kept during that time, and when i looked back at it, i found this! please enjoy.


End file.
